Saturday, August 18, 2007

Give, Giving, Gave

No one told me
The right way
The right way to go about this
So I’ll figure it out for myself
Cuz how much
Is too much
To give you
Well I may never know
So I’ll just give until there’s nothing else

Yeah I’ll give give give (until there’s nothing else)
Give my life (until it all runs out)
Give give (and I’ll have no regrets)
I’ll give until there’s nothing left
I’ll give

No one told me
How bad I need you (need you)
But I somehow arrived
To that conclusion all by myself (all by myself)
And I want
All you have to offer (to offer)
So I offer myself and I’ll just give until there’s nothing else

And I’ll give give give (until there’s nothing else)
Give my life (until it all runs out)

Give give (and I’ll have no regrets)
I’ll give until there’s nothing left to
Give give give (until there’s nothing else)
Give my life (until it all runs out)
Give give (and I’ll have no regrets)
I’ll give until there’s nothing left

Sometimes I think
Like all I ever do
Is ask for things
Until I ask too much of you
But that’s not the way (that’s not the way)
I wanna live (I wanna live)
I need to change (I need to change)
But something’s got to give
Yeah something’s got to

Give give give (until there’s nothing left)
Give my life (until it all runs out)
Give give (and I’ll have no regrets)
I’ll give until there’s nothing left to give
Give give give (until there’s nothing left)
Give my life (until it all runs out)
Give give
Give until there’s nothing left
I’ll give

Give Until There’s Nothing Left - Relient K

My morning routine consists of waking up (duh), finding my way to the office to play some tunes while I attempt to start my day.  One morning, the above song came on and the words immediately grabbed my attention.

For the past week, I have not been able to let go of this song, and as I have been put into the state of deep thought thanks to my trip last weekend, my thoughts lead me to what is giving..

Do we give enough in our lives?  Do we truly know the meaning of what it is to give everything?  Do we give only in order to receive something in return?  The movie “Pay it Forward” was good, but are there some “Paying it Forward” only because they’re expecting something?  How wrong that truly is? 

We are a flawed society.  We expect too much from people and when those conditions are not met we shut down and turn our pack on what’s important.  We retaliate by shutting that person out.  We no longer want to give to those because we feel justified because they were never truly giving in the first place.  What if we lived by the “Give All / Expect Nothing” model?  This basically means that we should be willing to give our all.  This is an unconditional type of giving.  If you say you love/cherish value someone you should be willing to lay everything at their feet.  If you love/cherish/value someone you should expect nothing.  You should be willing to say to that person who just laid out everything, “Thank you, but no thanks, your willingness is all I wanted”. 

How I have struggled with that theory during my years. 

When I was married, I failed miserably at this.  I was selfish in my approach.  I was unwilling to give.  I held grudges.  I even would argue if she told me the sky was blue.  I did not want to give her the benefit of the doubt.  I let the small things build into big things and then I did bigger things to try and compete with the big thing that I was up against.  This was clearly not the way things should be handled.  It’s easy to admit to these things today because hindsight is 20-20.  As I move from this experience, what do I want to take away from it?  I am still sifting through the debris and pulling out evidence of what I did and didn’t do. 

“Sometimes I think like all I ever do
Is ask for things until I ask too much of you
But that’s not the way (that’s not the way)
I wanna live (I wanna live)
I need to change (I need to change)
But something’s got to give”

I hear that.  Something’s got to give.  What are you willing to give?