Waitress: May I take your order please?
Lady: Do you have low-carb ham?
*record scratches*
Wha? Um, hello?!? I almost wanted to stand up and call her a doofus on the spot.
Silly lady, move along please.
...by our love.
What an oxymoron.
Oh yeah, they’ll show love, but only when their ideologies are in agreement or that the person who needs the love is willing to admit how horrible of a person they are.
Jesus didn’t put the tax collectors or the woman at the well through a series of “tests” in order to share his love with them. Jesus didn’t attempt to humiliate to show how holy and righteous he was. He took people for face value and loved them for it.
That is what’s missing from today’s Christian.
If there is anyone out there that thinks a reading program for a 4yr old is easy work is sadly mistaken.
From the parents book, to the DVD to the CD, to the “root through your book collection in hopes that you’ll have some of the books in the list”, it’s a tough job.
What ever happened to SEE DICK RUN. SEE JANE RUN AWAY FROM DICK.
Oh, those were the days.
If you see this piece of furniture, do not attempt to move under any circumstance.
This piece of furniture is capable of destroying your house while it is in motion.
Large groups of people have been heard cursing its very existance.
Again, I stress this as best as I can. STAY AWAY! STAY FAR, FAR AWAY!! If some woman approaches you and asks you to carry it across the yard and up a narrow flight of stairs and then magically over a railing; tell her NO! All the Pot Roast, Mikes Hard Berry and Birthday Cake in the world is not enough to make up for the punishment that this piece of furniture can dish out.
Those that fail to heed my warning shall face the enternity of a sore back and smashed fingers.
NOW GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT, or day, or whenever you decide to read this..
